Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
