no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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