If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
