I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
