You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
