we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
