i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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