Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
