nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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