One girl and one boy is just not enough.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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