I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
