I think I am morally bankrupt
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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