His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
