he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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