So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
