i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
