Don't you send me to vm
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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