If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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