Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize