You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
