Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
