There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
