covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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