yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
