He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
