You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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