K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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