I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
