so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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