I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
