Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
