Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
