You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
