How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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