so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
