Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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