if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize