On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm like, not good at living.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
