we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
