And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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