Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
