4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
