If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
