You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
COCAINE IS GR8
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
