i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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