why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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