bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize