Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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