I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize