I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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