when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Barsexuality is the new black.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
