She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
