He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
