belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wish you could order shots online.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
