I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
