Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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