Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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