Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
