Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
