You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
two words: eviction party
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
