he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize