Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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