I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize