I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
