By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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