At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Such a big mess for such a small penis
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
