The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
