If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
