Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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