who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it glows. i had to have it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
