Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
